Sometimes I just wanna hide.;

Saturday, December 02, 2006

It's so simple and complicated.

woah. its 1am on a saturday morning. yeah. ive got bb camp. TODAY. im going to sleep at pulau HANTU. yeah. thats not scary. hahaha. okay. nevermind. gotta go. catch up on my sleep. yeaah. haha. tonight is just a i dont feel like sleeping night. hahaha. i know im gonna die tmr. but. i cant help it if i cant sleep.. right? uh-huh. alrite. ill try. haha. goodnight.! ><

smileeeeeee. and ill be just fine. (:

Tralalala.

Friday, December 01, 2006

Saying i love you, aint gonna help.

nope. not thinking so much isnt going to help. lol. yeah.. if i cant even answer my own voices.. thats really bad. haha. ive been wondering. i have so many friends, good friends. why? lol. its like. i have no distinct group of closer friends or anything like that. everyones just kinda. the same. well. i kinda treat everyone rather equally, kinda luh. lol. and ive never really trusted anyone with everything that i had. i guess thats why i never had a best friend. for me. best friends are only considered if they both regard each other as their best friend. lol. and i never had one. yeah. sad right. i know someones whos just like that too. but i just cant.. i dont know. its hard to make ppl open up to me.
yeah. cant blame them. im naturally retarded and crazy and i dont seem one bit human. well. IM GONNA PWN YOU IN OLVLS. okay nvm. random and off topic. but i will la. haha. everyones looking down on me. and soon they will realize my power. lol. but when they finally realize, its too late. :O anw. im very selective about the people who i share my problems with. and those who know, have figured out that im a quite, or rather, a very emo person. and my problem. is very complicated and long.

well. ranting over my own sad story isnt going to help either.
gotta get my groove on.

Tralalala.

Wednesday, November 29, 2006

actually i did have something to blog about.. but ive lost it. haha.

i was walking back from the bus stop just now. staring at the almost half yet not totally half moon just now. and i starting thinking again. wahahaha. well. lately, ive been hearing 2 voices in my head. and i never even knew i had them in me. lol. one was the 'good' and the other was the 'not so good'. well. its weird. heh. must be me enjoying myself so much in the holidays that ive already lost it. heh.

give up. and move on with life.
but its something that you have always wanted. can you bear to.
no. its different already. you dont need it anymore. it wont happen. just let go.
are you sure thats what you really want?

no. i dont know what i want. damn you voices.
well, i think im getting a lil insane.

Tralalala.

Monday, November 27, 2006

There's nothing here worth saving,
No one here at all.
It will be a day like this one;
When the sky falls down.

Sometimes.I just place my trust and hope in all the wrong people.
i make all the wrong choices of picking my good friends.most of them. well i havent actually had a best friend for a very long time. that sad. i know.
Of course the reason that i even DID place my trust in them, is cause they have somehow been close to me in a way or another. okay. ill be frank here. im the kinda guy who does NOT like to argue and be angry and stuff like that. there are some people that i constantly pray for and worry about, even if they may not be THAT close to me. i know im like. i dont really make this known. and they probaly dont even know that i even gave a crap about them. but somehow or another, just worrying about them has like.. raised their level of importance to me? i read their blogs, try to get closer to them, share their problems, and stuff like that. and when they just react with things like, oh youre just some normal friend, just like all the others.. and its.. very..'ugh'.
God has been giving me this prompting.He has been speaking to me. and also giving me names, to help the people around me to the best that i can.even tho ive been messing in many things that ive not needed to be messing around in, its okay. even if you dont care about me, but your problems have been solved, its okay. as long as it just provides me with this..
inner peace.
and im very very thankful for that. haha. (:

I dont need to make sense. cause this is MY blog.

Is this what they call freedom?
Is this what you call pain?
Is this what they call discontented fame?
It will be a day like this one;
When the world caves in.

Tralalala.

Saturday, November 25, 2006

okay.. my blog is being messed around with.. but nvm. its friendly messing around. lol. ive been darn tired. for like everyday. haha. need to like.. kinda get alive again. haha. lets hope service tmr will help. sigh. so many camps coming up. and ALL on fridays AND saturdays. crap this la. lol. camps are killers im telling you. haha. i think i have. a spilt personality or something. its either that. or i have moodswings and short term memory mixed together. haha. been so distracted lately. heh. screw la. i have no money to buy coke. walaooooooooooo. i dont wanna sell useless vaccumm cleaners to my friends lah!!! wth... gay. ill go ko myself now. goodnight.

from the highest of highs to the depths of the sea.;
creations revealing your majesty.

Lord, i dont want to drift any further from You.
cause youre an amazing God.

Tralalala.

Show off that body youve got, youve got the dancefloor so hot.;

dance music is getting the better of me. oh yeahh. everyones turning into step up fans! wooo. heh. well. nco council was quite boring. i meant very. haha. but with 33rd around nothing can possibly be boring. heh. well. ill be going some adidas fair later at expo. and maybe watch happy feet. lol. today was the most wonderful beauty sleep in my whole life. 15 hours. LOL. and really. the dreams were.retarded. haha. dont wanna say. aft yall laugh at me. ): tee.

Tralalala.

Wednesday, November 22, 2006

alright mann! time to rejoice. haha. both my job applications got thru! that means,hopefully, ill get 1k in 2 weeks. muahaha. pls support my buy the stuff im selling. PLEAASEEEEEE. haha. and ill treat you next time! :)

went to school tdy. for.. NOTHING. i didnt save and the whole thing crashed on me. -.-" oh well. haha. got abit of chem and amaths done. nco camp tmr. i was trying to figure out what was a day camp. lol. now i know. and the bloody nco camp better be fun. haha. well. wont be very free in the first 15 days of december. haha. so gotta study more now.

thats about all for tdy. gotta go find ppl to play dota!

you catch me when i fall.;

Tralalala.

Tuesday, November 21, 2006

Back from everything. yeah. finally. some time to myself. ill do a short post before going off to study. dont tell me im crazy.

just changed to blogger beta and ive gotta say its almost the same. but at least i have a google account now. lol. =="

ldc2 was.. kinda unexpected. i packed like 1hr b4 the camp started. lol. everyone expected it to be a very. very. hard camp? as in physically. but when we got there the discipline was like crap, we were told it was a fun camp. haha. and bloody hell. i just realized our school is rubbish.lol. i see ppl there who are sec3 and have 4stripes. FOUR. we only have 2. -.- wa sians. well. the games and bonding stuff were quite fun. lesssons kinda boring. always see daniel sim at the other end of the room pointing at the officer presenting and saying drugs, or beer. lol. but really. the officer was like some drunkard joker. hahahaha. we all were laughing. like mad. anw. nat was in my group so it wasnt all that boring. haha. i broke my cup -.-. well, ill update more abt tt in due time. uh-huh.

well. im looking for a 2 week job. anyone have pls tell me.

yeah. im kinda low on cash. and seems like one job is not enuff. because. yeah. if i didnt tell you, my computer exploded. as in. exploded. yeah. the motherboard and graphic cards are totally smoked. spent a good 400-600 bucks just getting new parts (even in simlim!!) damn ex la. sians. so now. im in debt. haha. and i havent got all those bdae and christmas presents. im at an all time low. haha.

chris just asked me to soccer. and i said no. cause i really needa study. ive spent one week not doing any work. just camps and play. screw this. still got nco camp on friday. suxxors la. i really wanted to do so many things la. but i never finished what i started. in sec3 and sec2 i should have done all those stuff. but now its sec4 alr. sec4 leh. damn fast. i guess all my skateboarding, drumming, biking, dancing, yoyoing, gaming, computing, and all other crap inculding my job, will have to wait till after olvls. and if i do well. everything will work. cos my parents are giving me 50 bucks for every A i get. so if i get 6As thats 300 bucks. haha. and jc wont be a problem. thats good.

this is kinda. retarded. but im kinda stuck on dance. yes. dance. haha. my playlist now is pretty much all dance songs. like step up soundtrack. :) oh well. i had a weird dream yesterday. popular was giving away free crumplers. okay nvm. random. lol. movie next week anyone. ANYONE. next week. haha.

need. to. have. some. dota. ownage. now.

i need that feeling. haha. the ownage feeling. but it will have to wait till next week. or something. haha. need.. ownage. now.

haha. ive been having moodswings lately. screw moodswings. and its really messing up my life. ive NOT been behaving the way i should always be behaving.properly. stuff like vulgarites are coming out so freely. this sucks. it really sucks. and emoness is flowing out like its free or something. ill fix this.somehow.

-"if God wants you to trust Him, He puts you in a place of difficulty. if He wants you to trust Him greatly, He puts you in a place of impossibility. For when a thing is impossible, then we who are so prone to move things by the force of our own being can say, 'Lord, it has to be You. I am utterly, absolutely nothing.' "
-Donald Grey Barnhouse.

found this on shengs blog. i think its really meaningful. (:
alright. off to study. hope you enjoyed reading. :D

Tralalala.