Saturday, October 08, 2005
like a saturday night ill be gone..hmmm. im done with my work for today. and later ill be going to kfc to study till abt 11 again. so i guess its okay to rest and blog for awhile rite? haha. all the interesting subjects are gone. now im screwed. the subject that i NEVER study for. the one that i hate most. CHINESE. omg la. haha. nvm.. i thnk i shldnt put where im going lol after ANYbody read then just go out and rape me. lol sigh. somehow things dont always work the way you want them to. like. many things la. just when it seems like its all going good. then its acutally going good for everyone else too. then when you finally realise it you are like. -_- . like you study so much for a test. then you found it super easy. then other ppl dun study and its super easy too! then you feel like slapping yourself. GEDDIT. okay i think you dont. lol. sigh sigh sigh. im sighing more lately. sigh. i think ive gotten a sigh disease. i was supposed to do art today. but didnt in the end. instead i studied lots of chinese and nothing went into my head. i really hope later will help. so bored. nobody to talk to. its 5.15. SHIT LA. uggh. i ve got this problem. mental problem. ahh. *bangs head on the table*. exams faster go away. i need to destress. lol. i think i study too hard. then in the end i probaly wont even go to triple. i felt like crying la. when i took that streaming shit paper. and read it. to get to course 1 students must have a consistent 80% in CAs and an overall of 75. i was so sad. it wont happen for me. AGAIN. whack the school la. ive always gotten 70s for science. i got everything else la. i got high english high maths high art high home ec high CHINESE even high home ec. but just not science. i just realized how.. how high my target was. i can go dream la. go dream la clemence ching. triple science.
FUCK. theres no better word to describe how im feeling. double science. im not interested. then if i appeal. i may not get it also. then ppl think im so desprate to get in. screw this. really. if i had a choice i would whack up miss lim.firstly. WHY THE HELL IS THERE STREAMING IN SEC 1. then. WHY THE HELL SHE PUT ME IN A CRAP CLASS WHEN IM SUPPOSED TO BE IN D,E,F STANDARD. thenn. ah fuck. just screw streaming la. i must get 80 for my science paper. and 75 overall. the overall is almost there la. but science. uggh. pray pray pray. even god cant save me now. and whats more theres other ppl like me. so many. shawn ching. he was so so sad when he realized he probaly cant go triple anymore. even JIAWEI. i didnt even need to talk to him. just the look on his face i knew everything. leon teh. he was so not okay with it la. he just studied his hardest and put the rest to god. but in the end he said he just had to face up to reality. like FUCK REALITY LA. shit la. really. my parents are okay with no triple science. IM NOT. i have my own targets. and i want to reach it. So badly. now i can just hope. and pray that somehow they will overlook my science when im in top 80. if i even get top 80. so hard now. even for ppl like wesley.neo.jerome. work hard. this streaming. it just means everything for the some of us doesnt it. i shouldnt even have slacked in sec 1. sec 1 . thats where this crap all began for me. after such a great fall. its hard to get up again.eh. jerome said i must care which class i go. cos friends make up who i am rite. i know that well.take everything. but just not my friends. im not looking to anyone for sympathy.just expressing myself.
Tralalala.
